mystagogue5

MY DEEPLY TROUBLED LIFE WITH THE OCCULT: PART 3... PUSHED INTO EXTREMES.

Throughout Elementary School I had to put with a very dysfunctional family. My brother was always leaving home and ending up in a youth detention center.  My real dad often didn't keep his promises to visit us. Me and my brother were often left very hurt and heart broken by this. Abe, my mom's boyfriend who became my step dad was pure evil. I was never physical abused, or sexually abused but I might as well have. I was verbally abused constantly. My mom always talked down to me, that I would never be able to get a great job. That I wasn't intelligent enough to pursue University for anything that I wanted to be. My brother was always a bully, and we fought all the time. My mom and Abe would often leave me home alone until 2 or 3 in the morning when they came home drunk. Then they fought for the next 3 hours. This was an annual event. My grades were a disaster, and I was pushed through the grades by kindness and mercy. I was classified as a slow learner, and I barely made it through the classes. I wasn't a slow learner, I was traumatized, paralyzed in the fear of constant family violence and neglect. My self esteem was shattered at an early age, and decades later remains on the balance. I was the class clown, the fool, the nerd, and the outcaste, outsider. I was bullied at home and at school. All this time I was a space cadet. I hide in my fantasy world, isolating in my books. Being left alone most nights, and having no friends anywhere, I was forced to play space games by myself.    In the later grades, grade 7, and 8 I intensified my reading of ghost books, ufo's, bigfoot, The Bermuda Triangle, Ancient Alien architecture, Aliens. Not much changed during High School. In fact it was much worse. I dressed like a psychedelic freak in techno-rainbow colours. I had very bad acne, and ugly glasses. This time I only had one friend throughout my High School experience, Anthony Dunmore. My mom and Abe broke up prior to me entering High School, my mom told me the stories of the haunted houses we had lived in. My dad later confirmed what he knew of what was going on. I learned of many alternative music artists from a local University station, and made it a priority to listen to all the strangest music ever created. The music helped me escape, it helped saved my life. I lived at various locations with my mom while in High School, and in all of them my bedroom was a space station. My walls were plastered with pictures and posters of stars, galaxies, ufo's, alien landscapes. Later they would be plastered with posters of vampire themes, and occultism. In grade 9 Saskatoon's first occult store opened up. I was there often talking with the owner, and reading all the used books she had to offer. I started practicing a mixture of Voodoo, witchcraft, and psychic vampirism. My mom continued to drink late nights, and the bulling continued from School, and my brother. I got deeper into reading, studying, and practicing various form of the occult. I became obsessed with Trance Channeling, it was a great escape for me. I spent hours a day either reading all the New Age books of the time, or summoning spirits in my bedroom. I was possessed more than a couple of times, and did things that I have no memory of. My friends, and family would later inform me of my mad hatters. My first two years of High School was filled with paranormal experiences. That will be left for the fourth part of my mini-autobiography. 

Error

default userpic

Your reply will be screened

When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.